What is love?
What is love? It’s a question that has flirted with mankind for ages. There are lots of ideas about the answer to that question in today’s world. You may picture the starry-eyed couples that are just giddy with one another. And of course, in many movies or novels there is either a mushy type of love framed between a knight-in-shining-armor & happily-ever-after, or else it’s a superficial physical “love”. But are these really accurate depictions of love?
Perhaps people have bought into false ideas of what love actually is. They may be trying to attain the unattainable fairy tale examples, but instead only attain frustration & even give up. They may be engaging in some shallow form of affection they believe is love, but keep coming up empty – only to want love more, but end up seeking it in increasingly false ways. Still others may not even try at all.
But what if love had little to do with feelings? What if it weren’t really about happiness, but instead was about goodness? And what if goodness sometimes doesn’t look happy, but sad or even confrontational? And what if in the strict pursuit of happiness, love is killed? What if love isn’t always thrilling, but usually usual? And what if love isn’t always enjoyable, but at times painful?
Well, when have you felt loved – really loved? Have those times always been bubbling in happiness? Or have they in fact been sad? Or looking back, were they painful at the time, but helpful in the long run? Perhaps, it’s better to ask if someone else has ever given up happiness in order for you to have felt love? Have you been willing to give up anything so that someone else could feel love?
Love can certainly result in enjoyable, happy & physical moments, but those are by-products, not love itself. You cannot have the goods without paying the cost. And love costs you. If you pursue the goods only, they will be an unfulfilling mirage. I wonder how many relationships or marriages have been abandoned in the pursuit of mere happiness. I wonder how many people have misinterpreted less enjoyable forms of love.
The Bible informs us that God is love (1 Jn 4.8). This is not some fuzzy expression that simply defines a feeling as God. Rather, it is saying that God defines love in its purest form. This sort of love stands in stark contrast to the cheap knock-offs displayed in pop culture. This type is hard. It does hard things & requires much. For God tells us to love others ahead of ourselves (Php 2.1-4, 1 Pt 4.8). And get this – even if they are our enemies (Lk 6.27-36). According to Jesus, anyone can love when it’s easy, but real love does not cease when the going gets tough. Right in line with this idea is 1 Corinthians 13 which has to be one of the most quoted Scripture passages on love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Cor 13.4-7
This tells us a lot about what love is as well as what love is not. And since the easy side of love is obvious, this instructs us on the difficult side. For example, in my experience, it is not typically enjoyable to be patient; it takes restraint to withhold envy, boasting, pride & selfishness; it can be tough not to make yourself look better at the expense of others; it’s difficult to suppress anger when offended & not use that offense offensively; it’s risky & uncomfortable to always protect, trust, hope & persevere. These do not happen automatically because we tend to focus on ourselves, but true love focuses on others. Love sacrifices for others – even when others are not worthy. That is exactly what God has done for us.
You see, however nice we may think we are, all of us have violated God in some way when we have broken His moral law (1 Jn 3.4, 1.10). Everyone has lied, stolen, lusted, set up false “gods” or disobeyed parents to name a few (Ex 20.1-17) – and we only have to break 1 law to be a sinner (Jas 2.10). When we have to stand before God’s holy judgment, no one will be innocent, but guilty & deserving of God’s eternal punishment of our sins. Because of this, God considers us enemies (Col 1.21).
But we know something of God – He is love. And His kind of love even pursues enemies. He did something outrageous for us so that we would not have to receive His wrath against our guiltiness. In order for both His justice & His love to be satisfied, He had to do something for us – something that would cost Him & cost Him severely. He sent His only son, Jesus Christ, to not only leave His glory in heaven & live on the earth as a man, but also to die a horrible death. This tremendous sacrificial love was the only means to satisfy God’s wrath against our sin. God tells us that if we believe & trust that Christ died in our place for our sins, then He will forgive us forever. And instead of eternal wrath, we will have eternal life!
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. – Jesus in Jn 3.16-18
Now that is true love! And all you must do is call out to God & trust Him. Have you experienced this love?
Perhaps people have bought into false ideas of what love actually is. They may be trying to attain the unattainable fairy tale examples, but instead only attain frustration & even give up. They may be engaging in some shallow form of affection they believe is love, but keep coming up empty – only to want love more, but end up seeking it in increasingly false ways. Still others may not even try at all.
But what if love had little to do with feelings? What if it weren’t really about happiness, but instead was about goodness? And what if goodness sometimes doesn’t look happy, but sad or even confrontational? And what if in the strict pursuit of happiness, love is killed? What if love isn’t always thrilling, but usually usual? And what if love isn’t always enjoyable, but at times painful?
Well, when have you felt loved – really loved? Have those times always been bubbling in happiness? Or have they in fact been sad? Or looking back, were they painful at the time, but helpful in the long run? Perhaps, it’s better to ask if someone else has ever given up happiness in order for you to have felt love? Have you been willing to give up anything so that someone else could feel love?
Love can certainly result in enjoyable, happy & physical moments, but those are by-products, not love itself. You cannot have the goods without paying the cost. And love costs you. If you pursue the goods only, they will be an unfulfilling mirage. I wonder how many relationships or marriages have been abandoned in the pursuit of mere happiness. I wonder how many people have misinterpreted less enjoyable forms of love.
The Bible informs us that God is love (1 Jn 4.8). This is not some fuzzy expression that simply defines a feeling as God. Rather, it is saying that God defines love in its purest form. This sort of love stands in stark contrast to the cheap knock-offs displayed in pop culture. This type is hard. It does hard things & requires much. For God tells us to love others ahead of ourselves (Php 2.1-4, 1 Pt 4.8). And get this – even if they are our enemies (Lk 6.27-36). According to Jesus, anyone can love when it’s easy, but real love does not cease when the going gets tough. Right in line with this idea is 1 Corinthians 13 which has to be one of the most quoted Scripture passages on love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Cor 13.4-7
This tells us a lot about what love is as well as what love is not. And since the easy side of love is obvious, this instructs us on the difficult side. For example, in my experience, it is not typically enjoyable to be patient; it takes restraint to withhold envy, boasting, pride & selfishness; it can be tough not to make yourself look better at the expense of others; it’s difficult to suppress anger when offended & not use that offense offensively; it’s risky & uncomfortable to always protect, trust, hope & persevere. These do not happen automatically because we tend to focus on ourselves, but true love focuses on others. Love sacrifices for others – even when others are not worthy. That is exactly what God has done for us.
You see, however nice we may think we are, all of us have violated God in some way when we have broken His moral law (1 Jn 3.4, 1.10). Everyone has lied, stolen, lusted, set up false “gods” or disobeyed parents to name a few (Ex 20.1-17) – and we only have to break 1 law to be a sinner (Jas 2.10). When we have to stand before God’s holy judgment, no one will be innocent, but guilty & deserving of God’s eternal punishment of our sins. Because of this, God considers us enemies (Col 1.21).
But we know something of God – He is love. And His kind of love even pursues enemies. He did something outrageous for us so that we would not have to receive His wrath against our guiltiness. In order for both His justice & His love to be satisfied, He had to do something for us – something that would cost Him & cost Him severely. He sent His only son, Jesus Christ, to not only leave His glory in heaven & live on the earth as a man, but also to die a horrible death. This tremendous sacrificial love was the only means to satisfy God’s wrath against our sin. God tells us that if we believe & trust that Christ died in our place for our sins, then He will forgive us forever. And instead of eternal wrath, we will have eternal life!
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. – Jesus in Jn 3.16-18
Now that is true love! And all you must do is call out to God & trust Him. Have you experienced this love?
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. – Jesus in Jn 15.12-13
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.
Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Rom 5.6-8
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. – 1 Jn 4.7-21
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. – Jesus in Jn 15.12-13
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.
Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Rom 5.6-8
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. – 1 Jn 4.7-21